You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
