Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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