M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
