Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
