Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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