he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
