Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
