watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
