i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
