I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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