I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I need to align my fucking chakras
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
