Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and she was petting her beer can
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
