He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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