I heard we made out
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
