For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize