well you can't waste a boner
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
