Define "chronic" masturbator.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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