Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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