I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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