also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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