Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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