he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
