I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
