Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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