Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
