so that wasnt chicken after all
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
