And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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