It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
