Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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