i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
