if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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