Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
