We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Terrible idea I love it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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