I'm so fucking centered right now
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
