I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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