Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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