I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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