what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
