Buhtt sex?
where does the pee come out of this thing
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
