on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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