thus making me awesome and them whores
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
