My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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