marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
