I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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