what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
