The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
