What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
