i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
