And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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