remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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