its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
