69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
