Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
