Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
