If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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